The daily (and insane) lives of Hetalia
by pheonixFire12457
Summary: Get a glimpse of the daily lives of the countries. cities, provinces, and states! (Bad summary, I know...)
1. Another Chaotic Conference

**Hi guys! Well, I've decide to write this because a certain little plot bunny won't stop bugging me. Anyways, I don't own Hetalia.**

It was another chaotic meeting for the States/Provinces/Capitals/Major Cities.

"I'll take charge of the meeting, since I'M THE HERO!" Washington D.C declared. He looked like America, minus the curl and glasses.

"I do NOT agree." Tokyo said, crossing her arms. Kyoto nodded.

"Thank goodness!" Bern yelled. Zurich and Geneva looked bored.

New York rolled his eyes.

"Bull, Washie. Everyone knows I'm the hero since I'm the oldest!"

"No, I am!" Delaware shouted angrily. Then they got into a fight over who was older and who was the hero.

Beijing rolled his eyes and turned to Shanghai, who was tuning everything out.

"Aiyah! Western provinces are so immature, right Shanghai?"

Shanghai rolled her eyes.

"I s'ppose." She said as she skyped British Columbia, who was across the room.

"Hey Moscow!" A very cheerful Madrid called. Moscow turned around.

"Da?" She asked.

"Why don't you say something Moscow? I'm very sure they'll shut up." Madrid suggested. Moscow shook her head.

"I'm hiding from Minsk right now. Vilnius, Riga, and Tallinn are helping me, _da_?" She said menacingly as she faced three trembling capitals.

"R-right." Vilnius trembled. Like his older brother, he was deathly afraid of Russia, and anything or anyone associated with him.

A loud crash suddenly sounded. Everyone looked to where the source of the noise was from, and saw that London and Paris were fighting…again.

"I triple dog dare you to say that again!" London shouted as she punched Paris in the ribs.

"Ohonhonhon. Avec pleasure." Paris laughed. "British are slimy idiots!" She sang.

London growled.

"You wanker! Take that back!" She yelled.

"Never!"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"Non!"

Berlin thought she was going to explode. The Germany look-alike (except for her red eyes) took a deep breath and shouted.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

"Berlin?" London and Paris said as they stopped trying to strangle each other. Berlin took a deep breath.

"Zis meeting vas to discuss our world problems, not to fight amongst ourselves. Now, everybody sit down and ve vill begin. Our first topic is on pollution. Ulaanbaatar, Delhi, and Beijing, for goodness's sake, DO something about your pollution!"

Ulaanbaatar frowned.

"I'm trying." He protested.

"So am I, Berlin." Beijing said.

Shanghai rolled her eyes.

"Ahahahaha….no." She said. "If I recall correctly, you were watching Jackie Chan movies instead of trying to solve your pollution problem."

Berlin looked livid while Beijing glared at Shanghai.

"BEIJING !" Berlin roared as she started after Beijing.

"SHANGHAI YOU RAT I WILL KILL YOU LATER!" Beijing screamed as he ran out of the room, Berlin following close behind.

"Well… now that Berlin's gone, I'll take charge!" New York announced.

"Oh no you don't!" Washington D.C yelled.

"M-maple." Nunavut mumbled as New York and Washington D.C started fighting again. The other states, provinces, and cities also began bickering with each other.

"Just another world meeting…" Tallinn said to himself as he updated his blog.

**And there you have it. If you have any ideas or requests, just PM me.**


	2. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 1

**Sorry I took so long. I was once again busy with (yay…) more tedious stuff! Anyho, here's the next installment….**

**I don't own Hetalia or that song.**

_The first thing at Christmas,  
That's such a pain to me:  
Is finding a Christmas tree,_

"Alright, dudes and dudettes! We are on a super special operation- FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!" America bellowed as he pulled up into the Christmas tree lot.

"Like, omg! There are like, so many trees. I wonder which, like, tree we'll take home!" California said as she looked out the window.

"A small, traditional tree is nice." Kansas timidly remarked. New York turned to her and rolled his eyes.

"No, Dorothy- a super gigantic tree would be AWESOME!" He yelled.

"It's DoroTHEA- not Dorothy!" Kansas said angrily. Hawaii rolled her eyes.

"I just wanna get this over with…" She groaned.

"Da. Why do we even do this?" Alaska asked while smiling creepily. Everyone scooted away from the Russia look-alike.

"Because, Alaska, dude, Christmas is a time for family." America explained. Then he unlocked the car. "Go forth, my friends!"

With that, he pushed 50 grumbling states out into the cold, locked the door, and drove away.

"Underbart." Pennsylvania grumbled.

**Please r&r!**


	3. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 2

**I don't own the song or Hetalia**

_The second thing at Christmas,  
That's such a pain to me:  
rigging up the lights,  
_

"Oi! Idiota! Help me with these lights, won't you?" Romano yelled angrily as he and Naples attempted to untangle themselves from a spaghetti-like forest of lights.

"Ve~! The lights remind me of-a pasta, right, Rome?" Italy cheered. Then he looked around. "Rome?"

"Rome's at church, stupido." Naples grumbled. Sicily came in.

"What-a the heck?" She exclaimed.

"Oi! Stop looking at up and help!" Romano yelled.

Sicily sighed before going over to help Romano.

"I hate doing this." She grumbled.

* * *

_And finding a Christmas tree,_

"We should take this tree!" North Carolina yelled, pointing to a tree around 6ft. tall. Her twin shook his head.

"No, this tree!" He yelled, pointing to a sickly looking tree.

"You numbskull! That tree is sick looking. Can't you see?!" North Carolina yelled as she bashed him on the head.

"Ow! Northie! Stop!" He yelled angrily as North Carolina kept bashing him on the head.

"Hey, dudes! Why don't you just get this one? After all, the hero is always right!" New York appeared from the mass of trees, carrying one that had been artificially spray-painted silver. It was at least 7ft. tall.

North and South Carolina flushed.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!"


	4. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 3

**And once again, I don't own Hetalia or the song.**

_The third thing at Christmas  
That's such a pain to me:  
hangovers, _

"Cheers!" Prussia crowed as he and Germany once again chugged down a mug of beer. They were in some bar down in Bavaria.

"Uh… Prussiaaaaa." Germany said, his speech slightly slurred. "Should ve be going back noow?"

"Naw, Vest!" Prussia cackled. He wasn't even slightly drunk. "Ze awesome me can hold a few more beers."

"Alright." Germany said unsteadily.

* * *

_rigging up the lights,_

"Alright, now that we've untangled you from-a the lights, how are we supposed to hook them up?" Sicily wondered.

"Hey, fratello, isn't there supposed to be a manual for that?" Naples asked. Romano looked around.

"Si, si, I put it right th- MIO DIO, ITALIA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

'Ve~! I'm making paper people, see?" Italy said cheerfully as he held out a string of paper men and women…made from the instruction manual.

"ITALIA, YOU STUPIDO IDIOTA, THAT'S THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL!" Romano yelled as he began hitting Italy.

"Ve~! Stop it, fratello! Ow! Ow! I surrender!"

"Uh…" Naples groaned and facepalmed.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"OMG! Is this, like, for sale?" California asked a Christmas tree lot worker. She had spotted a nice tree, artificially sprayed with snow.

"Sorry miss, nope. It's reserved." The worker said.

California huffed.

"That's like, awful! So Nevada, which tree should we, like, chose then?"

"No, play the spades, you numbskull, I don't care, play it! What was it, Cali?" Nevada said. He was on his phone with his partner, who was winning big in Las Vegas.

"I said," California said impatiently. "Which tree should we like, take?"

"I don't know." Nevada shrugged and went back on his phone.

California huffed, turned around and saw a tree sprayed with glitter.

"Omg! How about this one? Is it free?"

"No."

"This one?" She pointed to a silver tree.

"No."

"This one?"

"Sorry."

"Fine! How about, like, this one? No one would, like, take it!" California said desperately, pointing to a hot pink tree.

"Um…sorry, that's taken as well." The worker said sheepishly.

"ARGH! I, LIKE, TOTALLY GIVE UP!" California yelled in frustration and stormed off.

Nevada watched her storm away.

"Meh."


	5. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 4

**Seriously. I don't own the song or Hetalia.  
**

_The fourth thing at Christmas,  
That's such a pain to me:  
sending Christmas cards,_

"WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?!" Dublin yelled as England handed them a stack of Christmas cards.

"Because, Dublin, I have a meeting with the Prime Minister." England explained. "Cheerio!"

"Lazy butt." Edinburgh grumbled. "Hey Wales. Who's on the list?"

"Um… everyone in the royal family, assorted nobility, everyone in the government, other people, and a bunch more we don't know."

"I suppose we should get started." London sighed.

* * *

_hangovers,_

"Uuuh…Vest, I don't feel so goooood." Prussia slurred. Germany stumbled around drunkenly.

"Ve should probably go back hooomeee." He said. The two brothers stumbled out of the bar and into the parking lot.

"Now vich car vas oursss?" Prussia asked.

"Uh... I think it vas ze Volkswagen...nein..maybe ze Mercedes..." Germany said, confused.

"Mein gott." Prussia groaned.

* * *

_rigging up the lights_

"Easy…easy…easy…no! To your left! More, more, wait that's too- ahh!" Sicily yelped as she and Romano fell into a heap. They had been trying to rig up the lights for an hour now.

"Have you guys tried using a ladder, instead of piggy-backing?" A very annoyed Naples asked.

"Hmph." Romano grumbled as Sicily facepalmed.

"I hate rigging up the lights."

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree_

"Ah, noel. But it would be better if I was still with Papa France." Louisiana grumbled.

"I don't see why you are so attached to France." A voice, with a British accent said from behind the tree. "England was way better."

"Shut up, Massie." Louisiana said as she grabbed Massachusetts by the ear and dragged him out.

"Ow! Still. English is better than French." Massachusetts said.

"FRENCH." Louisiana thundered with so much voice that Massachusetts cowered a little. "Is ze language of l'amour. Clearly, you English 'ave no respect for it." Her French accent was becoming noticable.

"English." Massachusetts said hotly. "Is the language of the upper class. It is well respected." His British accent was also becoming more noticeable.

"Well, French." Louisiana countered. "Was used in many court throughout Europe."

"It's not now. English is better."

"French!"

"English!"

"French."

"Um, guys. Aren't you supposed to be finding a Christmas tree?" Oklahoma broke in. Louisiana and Massachusetts turned to him.

"SHUT UP!" They both yelled.

"Geez. Alright, y'all." Oklahoma said and backed away. When he was out of their sight, he let out a sigh. "I wonder how I got stuck with these people…"

**R&R!**


	6. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 5

**Once again, I don't own the song or Hetalia.**

_The fifth thing at Christmas  
That's such a pain to me:  
Five month of bills,_

"WHO ORDERED ALL OF THIS FOOD?!' Switzerland yelled angrily. He had just receive a bill for 12 really expensive dishes and drinks. All totaling up to 198,059.75 US. With tax. "Lay off, Switzy." Bern said calmly."Remember, Switzerland has a high standard of living?"

"And, we got this for 75% off. Thanks to Zurich pulling a few strings." Geneva added.

A vein popped on Switzerland's head.

"Uh…is this a bad time to mention we also racketed up a bill at Tiffany's?" Vaduz (A/N Lichtenstein's capital) asked.

"Yes." All three Swiss cities chimed in.

* * *

_sending Christmas cards,_

"How…many…more…?" Ireland groaned as he finished addressing a card to some random person he didn't know.

Scotland grabbed the list, and several more pages fell out.

"What the…?"

"Nooo!" Cardiff screamed and facedesked.

* * *

_hangovers,_

"Heey Vest!" Prussia crowed. "I think I found our caaar." He pointed to a red

Porsche.

Germany looked unsure.

"I don't know, Prusssia." He said as he stumbled towards it. "I think our car-hic- vas silver….or…black."

"Oi! Vest. Help me open it theeen." Prussia said. They tried to open the car, but it was locked tight.

"OI! DUMMKOPFS! VHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" A voice yelled. They turned around to see a very angry man walking towards them. With a gun.

"RUN, VEST, RUN!" Prussia screamed as they drunkenly ran away from the man.

"COME BACK HERE!" The man yelled and chased after them.

* * *

_rigging up the lights_

"WHY WON'T YOU STAY ON, YOU STUPIDO LIGHTS?!" Romano yelled. He had been trying to stick the lights to the edge of the roof, with no such luck. They kept being pulled off.

"Don't look at us." Naples said, putting her hands up. Suddenly, Italy came skipping towards them.

"Ve~! Check out the lights I put on the doorway!" He said cheerfully.

Romano, Sicily, and Naples looked at each other before running toward the doorway. True enough, Italy had used some of their lights to decorate the doorway. Romano turned to Italy, his face red.

"ITALY!"

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree_

"Why do we have to help? It doesn't snow in my place." Hawaii grumbled.

"Because." Ohio said. "You're part of the family."

"I didn't originally want to be part of the family." Hawaii grumbled. "I was forced to."

"No matter. You are a part of this family now. How about this one?" Ohio looked at a nice size tree, around 6'6ft.

"Look at the price tag." Florida said. Ohio checked it.

"ELEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?! HECK NO!" She yelped. She checked another tree. "TEN THOUSAND AND FIFTY?!"

Hawaii and Ohio checked out other trees. They were either too expensive, or we of poor quality. Finally, they found one that was just fine.

"Finally." Hawaii groaned. Ohio looked at her.

"Um…Hawaii?"

"What?"

"This tree is…reserved." Ohio said timidly.

Hawaii fainted.


	7. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 6

**As usual, I don't own the song or Hetalia. **

_The sixth thing at Christmas  
That's such a pain to me:  
Facing my in-laws,_

"I-I'm not sure about this, Budapest." Bucharest said as they neared Hungary's house. "She hates me."

"Tch. You'll be fine, 'Charest." Budapest said. She laughed and grabbed his arm. "Isn't it exciting? We're finally going to make our relationship public!"

"If Hungary doesn't kill me first." Bucharest mumbled.

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY THIS ALL OFF?!" Switzerland raged. He had received a HUGE stack of bills, courtesy of Bern, Geneva, Zurich, and Vaduz.

"With money." Bern said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"From the Swiss banks." Zurich added.

Switzerland facepalmed.

* * *

_I hate those Christmas cards,_

"WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO WRITE SO MANY [CENSORED] CHRISTMAS CARDS?!" Scotland yelled angrily.

"My hand feels like it's gonna fall off…" London groaned as she sat, hunched over her desk.

"I… hate…Christmas cards… and England…and Sir Henry Cole …for starting this stupid tradition…" Dublin groaned.

* * *

_hangovers,_

"RUN VEST, RUN!" Prussia said as he drunkenly ran through the streets of Munich.

"I'm-hic- tryingtorunbutIcan'tbecauseI'msodizzy." Germany said, stumbling around. Prussia looked around.

"A pond! Quick, Vest, into ze pond!" He yelled. He and Germany jumped in…only to find out it was a snow bank, not a pond. The man who was chasing them, caught up.

"Time to pay." He said menacingly.

"Damnyou-hic-Prussia." Germany groaned.

* * *

_rigging up these lights_

"Great. We've rigged up these lights." Naples said.

"So?!" Romano snapped.

"We also have to rig up the lights to these reindeer, because Italy said so." Sicily said, holding up a reindeer-shaped lights.

"WHY'D YOU AGREE TO THAT?!" Romano screeched.

"SO HE WOULD STOP SINGING HIS ODE TO GERMANY!" Naples and Sicily shouted.

"UH! FINE!" Romano shouted.

"I wonder what Rome's doing right now…" Naples grumbled.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"I'm bored, I'm bored, and I'm bored." Maine sang as he skipped through the expanse of trees.

"Maine! Shut up and help me find a tree!" Rhodes Island yelled.

"But I don't wanna!" Maine yelled. "I'd rather be lobster fishing!"

"It's not even lobster season!" Rhodes Island snapped. "So shut up and help me!"

"Fine! How about this one?" Maine said, pointing towards a sickly looking tree.

"Nope." Rhodes Island said.

"This one?" Maine said, pointing towards one with brown-looking needles.

Rhodes Island flicked it, and all the pine needles fell off.

"Nope."

"Okay. This one?" Maine pointed to a perfect looking tree.

Rhodes Island looked at it.

"Seems okay to me…" She said. Just then, a worker came along.

"Sorry, this one's sold." He said, and carried the tree away.

"UH! I GIVE UP!" Maine yelled, and stormed away.

"Well, I guess I'll have to keep looking." Rhodes Island sighed.


	8. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 7

**I don't own Hetalia. Or the song. Or nyan cat.**

_The seventh thing a Christmas,  
that's such a pain to me:  
Charities,_

"Ah…such a nice day to be outside." Australia said as he walked down a street overlooking Port Jackson. Suddenly, he heard a bell ring.

"Please donate to the less fortunate?" A man asked.

"No thanks, mate." Australia said. He kept walking. Up ahead, he encountered the same man.

"Donate to the less fortunate?" He asked.

"No thanks." Australia said, a little irritated. Up ahead, the SAME man appeared.

"Donation?" He asked. Australia lost it.

"NO MEANS NO! ARGH!" He screamed and ran away.

* * *

_facing my in-laws,_

"Here goes everything." Bucharest sighed and knocked on the door. The door opened…and a knife flew out.

"MOM!" Budapest shouted. Hungary came out, wielding her frying pan.

"Oh, sorry, Budapest…hello…Butcherest." She said.

"It's Bucharest." Bucharest corrected.

"Whatever. You coming in or not?"

_This is going to be one long visit. _Bucharest thought._  
_

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"I can pay them off, I can pay them off. It'll be fin- OH SCREW THIS, IT'S NOT OKAY!" Switzerland yelled. Vaduz walked over to a wall and banged his head on hit.

"Hasn't he heard of something called a BANK?" He wondered out loud.

"Clearly not." Bern said.

* * *

_sending Christmas cards,_

"I SWEAR TO GOD, ENGLAND IS SO DEAD!" Wales screamed.

"Urgh…" Edinburgh moaned. "Why?!"

"My hand…" Ireland winced.

* * *

_ohhh geeez,_

"Vould you believe it if ve told you ve thought it vas our car?" Prussia asked, still intoxicated.

"Nein." The police officer said. You dummkopfs vill be spending Christmas in jail."

"Crap." Germany groaned. He had just woken up, with a huge headache. "I hate hangovers…"

* * *

_I'm tryin to rig up these lights_

"Almost…got it…there!" Romano said. After a REALLY long time, he managed to rig up the reindeer shaped lights.

"Ve~! Romano! Naples! Sicily! I've made PAAAASTA!" Italy sang.

"What-a the cra-aaaah!" Romano yelled as he lost his footing. He fell...taking the lights with him.

"OW!" Naples screamed. Romano had landed on top of her. "Damn it, Romano, you're so heavy!"

Romano got up, fuming.

"ITALY!" He shouted.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree_

"Hm…maybe I can use my Christmas tree-tracking app to help!" New York thought. He whipped out his phone and tapped the app.

"That's a rip-off app." Illinois said, walking up to him. "I got it last year, and all it does is replace all your files with a non-stop nyan cat video."

"No it doesn't do tha- OH MY GAWRSH WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED AND WHY IS THERE A NYAN CAT VIDEO PLAYING?!" New York screamed.

"I told you!" Illinois sang. New York facepalmed.

"I'll do anything- just get rid off it!" He begged.

"Okay!" Illinois said.

New York cheered.

"If…" Illinois continued.

"If…what?" New York asked worried.

"If you admit that Chicago is better the NYC, then yeah, I'll fix your phone."

"Heck no!" New York shouted. Then he looked at his phone. "Oh alright…"

"Say it." Illinois pressed.

"I, William J. Jones, a.k.a New York, declare that-that ChicagoisbetterthatNewYorkCity!" He gasped. "Now fix my phone!"

Illinois smiled evilly.

"About that…" He said. "There is no way to fix it…unless you ask Estonia. TROLL!" He yelled before running off.

"Why you-" New York snarled before running after him.


	9. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 8

***le sigh* Once again ,I don't own Hetalia, **

_The eighth thing at Christmas,  
that's such a pain to me:  
(kids voice) I want a transformer for Christmas,_

"Oooh…Dad! Can we get that transformer? Pleasepleasepleeeeeeeeease?" Sealand begged.

"Now Sealand…" Finland said. "Where here on Christmas shopping for everyone else."

"But I want a transformer for Christmas!" Sealand grumbled.

"We'll get transformers later." Finland compromised. "If you behave. Now come along- we have to buy Sve a present."

* * *

_Charities _

"Finally…free at last." Australia breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly ANOTHER one of those charity guys showed up.

"Please donate to the less fortunate?" The man asked.

"NOT AGAIN!" Australia shouted and ran off.

* * *

_and what do you mean your in-laws?_

"Budapest…I'm scared…" Bucharest whispered/whined to Budapest. Budapest rolled her eyes.

"Tch. She just has to warm up to y- OH MY GOSH BUCHAREST LOOK OUT!"

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Bucharest said, narrowly dodging a falling anvil. Hungary stepped out of the kitchen.

"Oh…sorry about that…I forgot to take that down…" Hungary said innocently.

Bucharest facepalmed.

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"Um…big brother?" Lichtenstein said sheepishly.

"Yes?" Switzerland snapped.

"Um…I just got a stack of bills in the mail…" Lichtenstein said. She dropped the stack of bills on the dining table and ran. Taking after her, Vaduz, Bern, Zurich and Geneva also ran.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Switzerland yelled.

* * *

_uh makin up these cards,_

"Merry…Christmas…and…have…a…happy…New…Year…" Cardiff wrote on his 1250th card.

"How many cards did you address?" London puffed.

"1250 cards."

"1443." Edinburgh said gloomily. She groaned. "Scotland, when can we stop?"

"When our bampot of a brother gets home. Then we kill 'im- Scottish style." Scotland said.

"I can't wait." Dublin mumbled.

* * *

_please get me a beer huh,_

"Oi, dummkopfs, I paid for your bail." A very disgruntled Berlin said.

"Danke, Berlin." Germany said. He nudged Prussia.

"Oh- ja- danke, Berlin." Prussia said as they got into the car.

"I think you guys have learnt your lesson?" Berlin said as she started the car.

"Ja- ve have- OH MEIN GOTT, ANOTHER BAR!" Prussia yelped.

"Nein, Prussia- vhat are you- PRUSSIA!" Germany yelled. Prussia had opened the door while Berlin was driving and escaped. Berlin pulled the car over.

"After him!" She yelled.

* * *

_what we have no extension cords?_

"Well, have you rigged the lights to the power box yet?" Sicily asked impatiently.

"Almost…wait WHAT?!" He screamed. Apparently, the wire just fell a meter short of the power box.

"Oh…well then…" Sicily said. Romano glared at her.

"Stop-a staring and find an extension cord!" He yelled.

"Geez! Fine!" Sicily yelled. She ran back into the house…only to find Italy and Naples tangled up in the extension cords…which were broken beyond repair. She ran back out.

"Well?!" Romano snapped.

"We…don't have any extension cords." Sicily said sheepishly.

"HOW THE [CENSORED] HELL DO WE NOT HAVE ANY [CENSORED] EXTENSION CORDS!" Romano shouted.

"Long story…" Sicily said.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"I hate it up here." Texas grumbled as she trudged through the snow. "Now if I were back in Texas, that would be different…"

"You'll get used to the snow pretty quickly." Vermont said briskly. "Now come on, we have to find dad a perfect Christmas tree because he's too lazy to find one himself."

"Too be honest with y'all, I know what a Christmas tree looks like, but a _perfect _Christmas tree? That's pushin' it." Texas said to no one in particular as she followed Vermont down the rows of pine trees.


	10. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 9

**Don't own the song or Hetalia.**

_The ninth thing at Christmas  
that's such a pain to me:  
finding parking spaces,_

"Aiyah! We're never going to find a parking space in this chaos, aru!" China shouted. He, Shanghai, Beijing, and Hong Kong were going Christmas shopping.

"Then why'd you chose this time, teacher?" Hong Kong wondered out loud.

"Don't smart mouth me Hong Kong- Shanghai, put your phone away!" He yelled, catching Shanghai in the rearview mirror texting.

Shanghai rolled her eyes.

"I'm 1261 years old, brother." She said loudly. "I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself."

"She has a point, as much as I hate to admit it." Beijing said.

"Still!" China snapped. He scanned the parking lot. "Now, to find a parking space, aru…"

* * *

_(kid) daddy I want some candy,_

"Daaaad!" Sealand whined. "Can I have some candy? Please?"

"Now, Sealand…" Finland said nervously, as people were starting to stare at the two of them. "We can get some candy later…"

"But dad! I want candy! CANDY!" Sealand demanded.

"Sealand, please!" Finland snapped. "Shopping first. I'll come back and buy you candy. I promise."

"Pinky promise?" Sealand asked.

"Pinky promise. Now come on." Finland said.

* * *

_donations, _

"Please sir…just a small donation will do…" The man said, following Australia around.

"For the last blinkin' time mate!" Australia yelled. "I'm broke!"

"Don't give me that!" The man snapped. "You're lying, I know it!"

"ARGH!" Australia shouted.

* * *

_facing my in-laws_

"When will this be over?" Bucharest groaned. Budapest rolled her eyes.

"Relax, Buc, it's just for a couple hours." She said. "And besides, Mom's pretty nice."

"Unless you're Romanian." Bucharest mumbled under his breath.

"Did I hear something?" Hungary called innocently from the kitchen.

Bucharest groaned.

"I hate these visits."

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"Great. Now I have a huge pile of bills to pay off." Switzerland ranted. "How am I going to pay them off? Loans are too much of a hassle…"

"Loans? Too much hassle? Wake up, Switzy! You're a country! You're filthy rich!" Bern whisper/shouted.

"Sh! You want him to hear us?!" Geneva hissed.

"No…but still." Bern grumbled. 'He's a freakin' country for god's sake! Loans are easy to pay off, for him."

"Then again, he's Switzerland." Zurich said.

* * *

_writing out those Christmas cards,_

"Writing…writing…and still writing…" Dublin complained out loud.

"When I'm done, I never wanna see another Christmas card again!" Edinburgh declared.

"Well said." Ireland agreed. Scotland only grumbled.

"When England comes back, I swear I'll wring his neck out…" He muttered.

* * *

_hangovers, _

A few hours later, Germany and Berlin found Prussia lying face down on a sidewalk.

"Prussia...oh Prussia…vake up, Prussia…" Berlin sang, nudging him with his foot.

"Vhat…? Holy Rome, is zat you?" Prussia mumbled. "Go away…"

"Prussia… VAKE UP!" Germany yelled.

"Go avay Austria...you prissy aristocrat…mm…oh Hungary…" Prussia mumbled in his sleep.

"Um…why don't we just put him in the car?" Berlin suggested her face red. Germany nodded, his face equaled red.

* * *

_now why the hell are they blinking?_

"Well, the lights are-a up." Naples cheered. Sicily frowned.

"Uh, Romano, why are they blinking?" She asked. Romano raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't they supposed to blink?" Romano asked.

Sicily shook her head.

"WHAT-A THE HELL?!"

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"I'd rather be surfing!" Florida sang as she skipped down the rows of trees. "Or be on the beach!"

"Shut it!" Arkansas snapped as she dragged a tree along. "Help-me-drag-this-tree!"

"Oh, hey guys!" Alabama sang. Then she looked at the tree Arkansas was dragging along. "Where'd you find that one?"

"Oh, there was this place near the back of the lot which had a lot of perfectly good trees in it. Can you believe it?" She laughed. Alabama looked at her weirdly.

"Um…Arkansas, you do realize those trees were there because they were…well…infected."

"INFECTED?! EW!" Arkansas dropped the tree and ran for her dear life. Florida turned to Alabama.

"And this is why I'd rather be surfing." She said.


	11. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 10

**I don't own the song, Hetalia, or **

_The tenth thing at Christmas  
That's such a pain to me:  
Batteries not included, _

"Jaaaaaaaaaappppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Tokyo yelled. A very annoyed Japan stuck his head out.

"What?!" He snapped.

"My laptop didn't come with a battery!" Tokyo wailed.

Japan facepalmed.

* * *

_no parking spaces,_

"Are you kidding me aru?!" China screeched.

"Nope. I'm pretty sure I heard 'no more spaces available', teacher." Hong Kong said.

"Not helping!" Beijing snapped.

"Stuck up." Shanghai mumbled.

"All of you be quiet! Maybe I can park on the street, aru." China mumbled.

* * *

_(kid) buy me something,_

"Daaad! Buy me something!" Sealand demanded.

"Now, Sealand…" Finland said.

"But dad! You've bought everyone- _everyone _something except for me!" Sealand whined.

"One last stop." Finland said. "Then I'll buy you something."

* * *

_get a job you bum,_

"UGH! GET A _REAL_ JOB, YOU IDIOT!" Australia yelled.

"Just donate even one penny?" The man asked.

Australia facepalmed.

* * *

_facing my in-laws,_

"So, Butcherest-" Hungary said as they sat down for dinner.

"It's Bucharest." Bucharest corrected.

"Whatever. Tell me. Have you been doing anything to my daughter in any kind of form…?" Hungary interrogated.

"MOM!" Budapest protested, her face red.

Bucharest banged his head on the table.

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"If my calculations are correct, then it will take me five…" Switzerland gulped. "…months to pay off these bills."

"I'm not looking forward to these five months." Vaduz said.

"Who is?" Zurich grumbled.

* * *

_yo-ho sending Christmas cards,_

"Now that we've written all these cards, we have to mail them. London, how far is the mail box from here?" Dublin asked. London thought for a moment.

"Four blocks." London said.

"Four blocks, no big de- oh." Wales said as he opened the door…to a raging blizzard.

"I ain't goin' out there." Scotland said.

"So then." Cardiff said as everyone looked at each other. "Who's going?"

* * *

_oh-geez look at this,_

"Mm…oh, Hungary…vhy are you so…" Prussia mumbled out loud in his sleep.

"Vhy can't he shut up?" Germany whispered.

"He's Prussia." Berlin said. Then she held up a video camera. "I might as vell get some blackmail footage while he's at it."

* * *

_one light goes out they all go out,_

"Ve~! Romano! Look- one light bulb is unscrewed!" Italy said, reaching towards the light bulb.

"No, Italy, you idiota, don't-" Romano started, but it was too late. Italy gently yanked on the light, and the entire string of lights stopped shining, plunging the house's exterior into darkness.

"Nice going, Italy." Naples snapped.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"I swear I'm gonna kill dad when we get back." Tennessee grumbled.

"If you kill him, you'll be going to jail for the rest of your live." Oregon reminded him.

"Fine. I will HURT him badly when we get back."

"You'll be grounded."

"Ugh! I'll SCAR him then."

"You'll feel guilty for the rest of your life."

Tennessee huffed loudly.

"Just shut up and help me find a tree."


	12. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 11

**I think we all know by now that I don't own the song or Hetalia or The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.**

_The eleventh thing at Christmas  
That's such a pain to me:  
Stale T.V. specials,_

"This is so boring! Why can't we just watch hockey?!" Ontario shouted.

"'Cause it's not in the Christmas Spirit." Alberta reminded him.

"Christmas, Shmritmas. I miss Papa France." Quebec sighed.

"WHO CARES WEITHER THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS OR NOT?! I WANT HOCKEY!" British Columbia shouted.

"Oh, maple." Canada groaned.

* * *

_batteries not included,_

"Brooooother!" Kyoto screamed.

"Oh, what now?" Japan asked irritably.

"The electric guitar America sent me didn't include batteries!"

"Not again." Japan muttered.

* * *

_no parking spaces_

"WHAT?! ALL THE STREETS ARE FULL TOO, ARU?!" China screamed in outrage.

"Should have seen that coming~" Shanghai sang.

"Can't we just come back?" Beijing yawned. China turned around, his eyes wide.

"And miss everything for 50% off aru? Heck no!"

"Here he goes again…" Hong Kong sighed.

* * *

_(kid) mum I gotta go bathroom,_

"Daaad! I need to go to the bathroom!" Sealand said. Finland sweat-dropped.

"Can't you hold it a little longer?" He asked nervously.

"Maybe I ca- oh, it's too late. Hehehe…sorry dad." Sealand said sheepishly.

Finland sighed.

"And I wonder why England always ignores him…"

* * *

_charities,_

"Ah…safe at last…" Australia sighed with relief as he locked his front door.

"What happened?" Wy asked.

"A crazy charity bloke kept following me around! Stalkers!" Australia exclaimed. Wy looked over his shoulder.

"You mean that crazy looking guy in a Santa hat?" She asked, pointing at the window. Australia turned around to see the SAME man plastered on his window, mouthing the word 'donation' over and over again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_she's a witch I hate her,_

Bucharest managed to 'escape' to the bathroom, where he pulled out his cell phone and called Romania. After about 5 rings, he managed to get a hold of him.

"Hello?"

"Romania! Help me! I'm trapped in Hungary's place!"

"WHAT?!"

"Um…yeah…I'm kinda dating her daughter…"

"HUNGARY HAS A KID?!"

"Well, more of sister, but Budapest prefers calling her mom."

"Oh, that makes more sense- wait what?! You're dating her sister?!"

"Well, not all Romanians hate Hungarians! But that's beside the point. HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE WITH HER TRYING TO KILL ME EVERY 5 MINUTES?!"

"…That, I can't do. Sorry, Bucharest, you're on your own." There was a click, and Romania hung up.

"GEE, THANKS A LOT!"

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"Switzerland really needs to unwind…" Vaduz said as they watched Switzerland pace around the dining room, mumbling to himself.

"Maybe we can send big brother to the French coast?" Lichtenstein suggested.

"And have him shoot at France? I'd rather not." Zurich snorted.

* * *

_I don't even know half these people,_

"I say we get London to mail the cards! It's her city after all!" Ireland said.

"What?!" London protested.

"You know what, why are we doing this?!" Cardiff yelled. "We don't even know half the people we're writing to!"

"I agree! When England comes home, we quit!" Edinburgh said.

"AYE!" Everyone agreed.

* * *

_oh who has the toilet paper,_

"ZE AWESOME ME NEEDS TOLIET PAPER!" Prussia screamed as he ran around the house.

"Shut up, Prussia!" Berlin yelled. "I'm trying to sleep!"

"BUT ZE AWESOME ME FEELS CONSTIPATED!" Prussia screamed. "I NEED ZE TOILET PAPER!"

"Gimme a break…" Berlin mumbled into her pillow. _  
turn the flashlight on I blew a fuse_

"Well... I've almost…got it…" Romano said. He held up two wires. "If I get this right, I will not be electrocuted." Just as he was about to connect the wires, Italy crossed over.

"Ve~! What does this do?" He asked cheerfully as his finger hovered over a red wire.

"ITALY, DON'T-" Naples and Sicily yelled together, but it was too late. Italy tugged on the wire...and snapped it. The power went out.

"Well…" Sicily said. "Anyone have a flashlight?"

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree,_

"If I have to see one more flippin' Christmas tree, I'll…" Utah threatened.

"Flip?" Michigan suggested. Utah glared at him.

"Hahahahaha…very fun." He said. "So, Michigan, any idea what a healthy Christmas tree looks like?"

Michigan shrugged.

"No clue. How about this one?" He said, pointing to a tree that was wilting a little. Utah looked at it.

"It's wilting a bit, but eh. Close enough." Then he started to drag the tree. "Now help me drag this tree back."


	13. Twelve Pains of Christmas- Pain 12

**I don't own Hetalia or either songs (Twelve Pains of Christmas and Biste Du Bei Mir) used below. **

_The twelfth thing at Christmas  
that's such a pain to me:  
singing Christmas carols, _

"VHAT IS ZAT TERRIBLE NOISE?!" Austria shouted as he cowered in his living room. Vienna peeked out the curtains.

"Not zem again!" She wailed.

"Vho?" Austria asked.

"It's ze local choir. Zey do zis every year." Vienna complained.

"I just had to stay home zis year…" Austria groaned as the choir launched into a screechy rendition of 'Biste Du Bei Mir'.

* * *

_stale T.V. specials,_

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOP!" Yukon shrieked. The other 12 provinces and territories (and Canada and Ottowa) were expeperiencing similar melt-downs.

"I… hate…Christmas…specials…" Manitoba said as he banged his head on the couch.

"I…feel…so…sleepy…" P.E.I (Prince Edward Island) mumbled. "So...boring...zzzzz."

* * *

_batteries not included,_

"JAPAN! NONE OF OUR ELETRONIC PRESENTS COME WITH BATTERIES!" Tokyo and Kyoto yelled.

Japan calmly walked over to the dining table and banged his head on it 3 times.

"Note to self." He said. "Check all the presents for batteries next year."

* * *

_no parking,_

"Let's try again at the mall, aru." China said. But when he got there, he was greeted with a security guard.

"Sorry, ma'am, but there is no more parking left." The mall security guard said.

Shanghai and Hong Kong snickered. China was outraged.

"MA'AM?! I AM A MAN, ARU!" China yelled. The mall security guard looked flustered.

"Oh…um…sorry…" He said in a small voice.

"THAT'S IT! WE'RE GOING HOME, ARU!" China snarled. He turned the car around and began to drive (recklessly) back home.

"That went rather well." Shanghai said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up." Beijing snapped.

* * *

_(kid crying),_

"DAD! THIS IS THE WORSE DAY EVER!" Sealand cried. He had peed in his pants, and it was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Sealand…could you hold on for a moment…please?" Finland begged. People were giving them strange looks.

"BUT DAAAAAAAD!" Sealand whined loudly. Finland sighed.

"That's it. Sealand, we're going home." He said as they started for the parking lot.

* * *

_charities,_

"Donation, donation, donation, donation…" The man chanted outside of Australia's house.

"Why not just file a restraining order on him?" Wy suggested. Australia shook his head.

"I've got a better idea, shelia."

"Don't call me shelia!"

Australia walked to the door, opened it and stuck his head out.

"Right, mate. If you don't leave, I'll sic Ol' Jack on you!" Australia shouted. The man didn't budge.

"Likely story! What's Ol' Jack anyways? Your cat? Donation, donation, donation…" The man continued. Australia sighed.

"Right. Sic 'em, Ol' Jack!" Australia yelled.

An alligator suddenly crawled pass Australia and started to go after the man, who got up and ran. Australia grinned.

"Who needs guard dogs when you have an alligator?"

* * *

_gonna make em dinner,_

"Bye Budapest, Butcherest!" Hungary called out as they left.

"IT'S BUCHAREST!" Bucharest shouted.

"Whatever! Merry Christmas! And don't forget, I'm coming over on New Years~!' Hungary sang.

"New…Years?…oooh…" Bucharest gasped and fainted.

Budapest sighed and picked him up.

"Maybe a New Years' visit isn't a good idea." She said to herself.

* * *

_five months of bills,_

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS IS TOO MUCH!" Switzerland yelled. He threw the papers up in the air and left. Zurich, Bern, Geneva, Vaduz and Lichtenstein came out of their hiding spots.

"Well…I guess this is also a bad time to tell him we rented a chalet on the Swiss Alps for the holidays?" Geneva said sheepishly.

"Let's wait until big brother calms down first." Lichtenstein said.

"Agreed." Everyone else chimed in.

* * *

_I'm not sending 'em mister that's it,_

"I'm back, everyone!" England said as he came in…only to find out seven very angry countries/sovereign states/cities waiting for him.

"Hello, England." London said.

"Say…" England said. "What about the Christmas cards?"

"Well…" Edinburgh started.

"WE QUIT!" Everyone else finished, and left. England groaned.

"Oh, bother. It's back out into the blizzard I go"

* * *

_shut up you,_

"Ugh…ze awesome me doesn't feel good." Prussia groaned.

"It's your own fault you decided to get drunk." Berlin shouted from her room.

"BUT ZE AWESOME ME REALLY DOESN'T FEEL GOOD!' Prussia whined.

"SHUT ZE HECK UP PRUSSIA!" Germany yelled.

* * *

_you're so smart you rig up the lights_

"What-a on earth?!" Rome yelled. He had come back, only to see a very ticked off Romano, Naples, and Sicily. "What-a happened? Where are the lights?"

"BLAME HIM!" Naples and Sicily yelled, pointing to Italy. Then they left.

"Romano…why aren't the lights up?" Rome asked.

"Oh, shut up. If you're so smart, why don't you-a rig up the lights." Romano said, throwing the lights at Rome before storming away.

"People." Rome sighed.

* * *

_and finding a Christmas tree._

"So, did any of you find a Christmas tree?" New York asked. 49 dejected states shook their heads.

"Mine was infected." Arkansas said glumly.

"All of the trees that looked totally cool, were, like, totally taken!" California complained. "It's like, totally unfair!"

"Ours was wilted." Utah and Michigan said.

"We couldn't decide." North and South Carolina chorused.

"The tree was reserved." Ohio groaned.

Suddenly, Washington D.C's phone rang. He put it on speaker phone.

"Hey dudes and dudettes!" America called. "Good news! Turns out Washington's boss has given us a free tree! I'll come pick you up! The Hero, over and out!" There was a click and America hung up.

"WHAT?!" 50 shocked and angry states screamed.

(_Timeskip_)

America arrived to see 50 either K.O'ed, crying, shocked, or angry states waiting for him.

"Well then…" He said as Alaska, Tennessee, and Texas started towards him, all with creepy auras surronding them. "I'll just ask Washington's boss again next year."

**Well, that's the last of 'em. **

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!**


End file.
